What if you're stuck and you don't know what else to do?

Funny, cuz that's the exact situation I'm in right now. Nursing or music? Should I choose? When I was young I've always said to myself that when I grow up I want to be a nurse just like my mom. Then came the time where I finished high school, and its really time to face that "grow up" moment. I've been having second thoughts about going to the nursing field. My interest moved from that excited, little child who wanted to be a nurse to that freshly out of high school who wanted to do something in the music field, but which ones I don't know.

I'm embarassed to admit that I want to do something about music to my parents. Don't ask me why, I just don't know. So that time to decide came, I don't know which direction I should go but two years later, which is now, I'm in my second year of college pursuing nursing. I don't know what happened but I managed. I'm still having doubts but somehow my experience when I had my first clinical experience changed something about my confused, lost mind. I felt good, I felt satisfied that I helped someone. Before when asked, "why are you doing nursing if it's not really what you want?" My answer would always be, "I do it because of the money." Well, I take that back now. I'm not doing this because of the money anymore. I realized that it's not really about the money. It's about helping. It's about doing things together with the patient you're taking care of that normally the patient alone could not do. Even the small tasks we always take for granted like eating, bathing, walking, etc.

I'm still not sure what I'm doing here. My mind is still not on the full scale of going the nursing way. I'm still interested in music. I'm still thinking about doing a music career. I mean at night, I would say I could teach music once I got my degree. I don't have to be a musician, just doing something with music is fine with me. And just as long as I can play my piano and listen to my favorite artists and bands I'm fine.

But why choose when I can do both? It's not easy but it's doable. At the end of the day, after a long, boring class I still have my music. I still have my iPod, my guitars and my piano. All I need to do is manage my time. It came to me, that incorporating music to nursing could also be a great idea. You know, music and nursing; nursing and music together. How? That's what I'm still trying to figure out.

I still wake up confused and lost sometimes. Without a purpose. But hey, I'm just trying to go with the flow. Whatever's planned for me it's going to happen. If not, then move on. I'm just hoping that whatever's in store for me in the future, I'll be ready. And I hope, I will never ever have to choose again and the confusion will stop.

peace, to any readers...